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The Magic Realism Bot

Can I have some of what this bot is having?

"A Norwegian government bureaucracy has a meeting about social anxiety that continues for 125 billion years."

"A philosopher discovers that women named Diane do not exist, and goes mad."

"A detective story in which the killer turns out to be management consulting."

"A clown owns a glass paperweight that allows her to hear every sound in Reno at the same time."

"Angel's wings, opals and a triangle. That is all I have to say."

"By concentrating very hard on a piece of rose quartz, a Hungarian empress is able to create the person who is reading this."